memory

i joke a lot about getting old, but for real i feel it more difficult to remember things. before i used to memorize everything. to try to combat this, or at least slow down the deterioration of my memory (ew that sounds kinda dramatic huh), every day i try to recall a past memory and remember the details of that event or moment. i don't write them down all the time, but i think i'm going to try to record them from now on.

today was my lolo pol's burial, and i did the eulogy, so last night was a whole bunch of that. reminiscing. it's a trip what you find back there in your memoru.

you'll see in my last post, my reflections about him. here's one that i shared with a friend earlier this week.

today as i reflected i paid attention to the sounds of voices. i was remembering the sound of lolo pol's voice. a tenor voice, with the signature ilocano drawl. if you don't know what i'm talking about, pick up rex navarrete's first cd. he does a good job making fun of it! haha. and then i remember my lola haning's voice. high-pitched. and then my lola's voice. as she got older, her voice got sweeter. she had this giggle, it was so cute. very girly, although she wasn't very "girly." very straight to the point, fiercely independent. i think i want to be like that. mellow with age. smoother. i've seen some old people get bitter, angry, and agitated as they got older. i completely understand why - you see a lot more bullshit! haha. but lola was cool. she was a lot more patient as she got older.

anyways. guess you had to be there =)

this weekend... vegas. hopefully i remember everything that happens! haha.

breathe. b-r-e-a-t-h....e. breathe.

i was just introduced as a new hire at the company-wide meeting. in my introduction, they asked me the james lipton question. after being up until about 1:30am the previous evening finishing up season 4 and starting season 5 of my new favorite show (see previous post), the question surely jump-started my brain at 6:25am pacific.

"what is your favorite word and why?"

...

one that comes to mind is "breathe."

when i was in 6th grade, i participated in a spelling bee, that consisted of other catholic grammar schools in the area. i kinda studied for it, and i didn't realize until i got there, that i pretty much memorized the word list.

the word that came up was, breathe. in that moment a sharp stab of panic struck me, because breathe was not on the word list! only "breath" was! WTF why did she read the word breathe???

ok so i had two options - go with the answer i knew was wrong, but was on the word list, or, go with the right answer.

"breathe. b-r-e-a-t-h....e. breathe."

there was a slight hesitation from the moderator, because she meant to read, "breath"! in those 3-5 seconds that seemed like an eternity, i was already planning to walk straight to my teacher and challenge the decision if they said it was incorrect.

"correct."

whew. whewwwwwwwwww.

i went on to win the spelling bee. it was pretty cool. i did a couple more, and then retired my crown, undefeated. LOL. ok ok. i graduated and had to go to 9th grade. i remember thinking, if i could get a job spelling, i would be set. haha.

breathe is also a favorite word, because it's the first word i "tell" myself, usually without even uttering it, to unlock a stuck thought or situation. to open up another world of options and possibility.

have a super tuesday.